World Cocoon

a new comic is up on the excuse me page – totally clickable on the side link there. its about the hair on my head and face.

also, please notice the donate clicky up on the left there. thats where you can give me money for no reason except your own awesome generosity. everyone says youre really generous. you are pretty awesome.

ill have buying stuff things soon.

hi there friends and clicky-stumblers. 2009 has gotten off swimmingly. everything is covered with ice, my kitten claude was all sickly, i’m quickly going poor, and the muscles in my neck and shoulder have gone their way of annual wiggens and went all clenchy-wrenchy and it basically is torture, leaving me to lay around all day and play castlevania: symphony of the night, which isnt really a bad thing but there are better things i could be doing fer sure.

but would those things have ‘bloody tears’ playing in the background? no sir, they would not, unless of course it ever finished downloading.

but anyway here i am and muscles are less achy so i can sit up and type and even draw some, which rules. yay. look at me. i have a few projects which i will pop up when im sitting up long enpough to scan. love it. until then, please enjoy this turtle sex (thanks 100grand)

turtle sex

oh, im also growing a handlebar moustache.

Hey look! its the first boring year end survey review thingie for this site. gazzahhh! happideenewyearsings.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Traveled across country via choo choo, learned to digicolor, appeared on ona, touched a copy of amazing fantasy 15, bought a copy of adventure comics 247! got a car from a year after 1989.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i dont remember making any this year, i think its time to make some.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
there have been some awesome babies born this year!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
i dont think so no thankfully and hopefully nobody will for a while. tim russert dying made me sad tho. oh and omar. i will miss you omar. one day the golden doors of forever will open and you and wash and proty will be there to guide me in.

5. What countries did you visit?
2008 was out of state, 2009 is out of country!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
money. a roommate.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the day a young kitten named claude stepped into my life.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
not dying! learning to use photoshop more better. travelling and not going nuts. wait do you mean xbox achievements? oh crap ummm there were a few annoying ones to get.

9. What was your biggest failure?
not losing as much weight as i wanted. well i lost it but i gained it back. at least it was tastee. not being as naked as i wanted to be.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
ultra-sleepiness.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Almost finishing off my legion collection. almost there. nabbing adv 247 made me happee.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
bill murray for saying hell do ghostbusters 3. darren for letting me into the basement.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
rick moranis for saying he wont do the ghostbusters video game. and a couple of other people i will not name. heh.

14. Where did most of your money go?
travelling, bills, food, coffee, comic books, pills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
getting claude, travelling, seeing julie, various board hangouts, hanging with the lady, seeing dark knight and iron man lol

16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?
well, here are my top ten listened to songs of 08 as determened by my last.fm scrobbler.

Old 97’s – Dance With Me
Sonic Youth – Sugar Kane
Ladytron – I’m Not Scared
Nico Vega – Gravity
Radiohead – 15 Step
Daniel Johnston – Love Wheel
Ryan Adams – Magnolia Mountain
Ladytron – They Have You A Heart, They Gave You A Name
Tori Amos – Wednesday
Ladytron – Runaway

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
happier i think.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
worked more and wrote/drew more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
being busy doing nothing. slept! or at least slept better.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
already spent it. was i supposed to do this earlier or something?

21. hi

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
it is a bottomless pit of bubbly chaos slingshoting us into the jagged walls of emotion.

23. How many one night stands?
none! none!!

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?
bsg, the wire, dexter.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
i dont think so no. oh wait stephon marbury. oh wait again that fucking douche baggage manager in chicago.

26. What was the best book you read?
creating comics by scott mccloud.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
nico vega i think.

28. What did you want and get?
a new cel phone. of course right after i got it they started giving everyone the really good ones i couldnt afford. a new car. a new kitty.

29. What did you want and not get?
heh

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
crap. dark knight probably. of the films released in 2008 anyway. i def watched it more than any other ones.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went out to eat. woo. old.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
superpowers. sleep.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
boxers, stink.

34. What kept you sane?
not much. travelling, and seeing fishbone always helps.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
hmmmmmmmm. that spanish channel dating game show host chick. giada’s cleavage.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the amazing bubbling of selfish people, somehow supporting a corporation bailout but scoff at individual bailout. ignorant dummies.

37. Who did you miss?
bunches of people i dont see enough.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
oh crap i met a bunch of awesome new people. claude wins.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
shower before taking a day and a half trip, and make sure to wear a sweatshirt.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Well, my money’s no good
when i’m up to no good
No good ever comes from it, honest
I got a really good heart
I just can’t catch a break
If i could i’d treat you like you wanted me to i promise
But i’m fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
But it takes two when it used to take one

so once your lungs fill with stuff, weird alien stuff, and it feels like you are drowning all day, and the medicine you’ve been taking more than half your life to help you breathe stops working, you go to the doctor. really! i went in the morning because people hate mornings, and i know this because i am a person and i can’t wake up in the morning. i assume. it makes an ass of you because I’m right no matter what.

my doctor is a sweet lady that gives me pills for everything so she can go on trips and get good swag, and fuck id do the same thing. if someone came up to me and said hey i will give you all your avengers books for free if you make someone buy an avengers book cause they need something to read i would so do it. so i understand when my doctor throws pills at me when i might be able to wait it out.

so my pusher doctor gives me some goodness, and, even tho i have had the loveliness that is asthma for a long time (it first crushed my lungs the first time i watched ‘faces of death’ with my cousin when i was 13, trying to breathe while a dead guy’s face gets pulled back and people eat out of a monkey head. great), my doc gives me a little ditto about asthma. The ASTHMA ACTION PLAN!!!! i wont bore you with the facts so here are the pretty pictures and dumb things i say about them.

let me take your hand and lead you through the world of asthma, and the action plan that goes along with it. when you are ok you say ‘i feel great!’ and your kids make you move their boxes into their dorm room while they go around to the student center and drink. its 1 in the afternoon damnit! these boxes are heavy and your breath smells like jagermeister and clove cigarettes! oh god you aren’t hanging with 17 year old theater kids are you? oh no.

caution! you do not feel so great. it’s true because you feel like drowning. you feel like there is something in your lungs and it is preventing you from being able to take a full breathe. so your ocd is like you HAVE to take a full breathe but you cant so you hyperventilate and god damnit i can’t move all these boxes! caution! caution! you guys will have to move some of these. oh dad you’re so lazy!

Danger!!!! i feel really bad! i turned into an atari character and then burned to death in a fire. how ironic since i feel like I’m drowning. i wonder if the person who drew these clip art offerings had asthma themselves and then just gave up cause it was winding them out. i was feeling pretty bad myself and I’m not sure i looked like whatever is supposed to be going on it that picture. are they being hung? i guess it would feel like that if it was done improperly and your neck didn’t snap.

so in conclusion asthma is bad. im going to go back to drawing an avitar for someone and then read final crisis. and if geoff johns doesn’t write legion im going to look like panel 3. DANGER!

pardon the lack of updates while my lungs are filled with atrophy, cat hair, and lung margerine. perhaps if i can expel enough of this crap out of me i can make a painting with it or something. don’t worry it’ll look much better than that blood and semen metallica album cover. why? because yellow and green are much more appealling. this is what i get for sleeping with a cat on my face and not sweeping enough. i thought dust bunnies looked like tribbles so i was farming them.

xoxo jabby

whilst i learn to add colors in photoshop more gooder, please enjoy the first entry in the finish my first posthumous comic contest. This one is by Harvey Birdman…

so i was looking through a sketchbook and found a comic i had started drawing, but really have no idea what was going on and what i was thinking. surely after im dead this would be dug up by family members looking to make some money off of my heavy heap of burden, and well screw them, im going to posthumously show this now before im dead, since i have no idea where it was going anyway.

so if anyone else wants to finish the final panel that would be awesome. ill give them a drawing or something.

guernica!!!!!!

holding in your thoughts is pretty near impossible when you keep having them, even if they usually are the same thoughts day in day out, therefore i am letting them spring out into your face. I’m giving you a warning now. click away, click away. really. its hard to be the jailed and its hard to be the warden and its not as hard to be the guy that pushes around the books unless your name is brooks, then i hope you know how to carve your name in wood and its also pretty impressive that you were able to off yourself so nimbly and you didn’t know it but Jake flew into a window soon after you let him go because you never taught him anything except how to stay quiet in your pocket. so good you deserve to hang yourself, tho i guess the jail kept you in their pocket and never taught you how to bag groceries. why you never just got a job at the library we will never know.

whats that thing when one person is thinking something and then a year later someone else thinks it at the same time? im not sure what the laws are, or if the cbldf assists in suing a company for copying a parody of characters they own?

anyway, all those caught up in the awful gravitational pull of my life knows how i feel about the legion of superheros. i have a never near complete collection of legion books, and just recently acquired this:

the first appearance of the legion. woo.

anyway, about a year ago, in my comic THE NEW 20, which could be found….HERE! http://www.comicspace.com/jab/comics.php?action=gallery&comic_id=1777

i did a legion parody where heroes from the future come to this time to bring me BACK! to the future because in some sort of bill and ted style i save free speech. It’s basically a hilarious rip off of the legion’s first appearance and then quickly becomes a series of torture jokes. comedy.

so today i was reading the new issue of Ambush Bug, written by former Legion god and savior and creator of Trencher- Keith Giffen, and it had this page:

see that? The names are the same!!! Caustic boy! Sarcasm Girl!! ok my lightning lad was called Libel lad, (which i think is better heh)…but still! Well thats it! as of now i am going on a THOUGHT BOYCOTT!! I am no longer giving away thoughts for free! The world will be paying for the crap that excretes for my ears! You want some thought wax? pay me bitches! no longer can you poach my creative gems, moneybags giffen!!! i know didio will will hire geoff johns to say you thought of it first in some sort of ‘revisionist history’…wait…whats that cursor doing? GET AWAY! DAMN YOU JOHNS! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.