World Cocoon

so once your lungs fill with stuff, weird alien stuff, and it feels like you are drowning all day, and the medicine you’ve been taking more than half your life to help you breathe stops working, you go to the doctor. really! i went in the morning because people hate mornings, and i know this because i am a person and i can’t wake up in the morning. i assume. it makes an ass of you because I’m right no matter what.

my doctor is a sweet lady that gives me pills for everything so she can go on trips and get good swag, and fuck id do the same thing. if someone came up to me and said hey i will give you all your avengers books for free if you make someone buy an avengers book cause they need something to read i would so do it. so i understand when my doctor throws pills at me when i might be able to wait it out.

so my pusher doctor gives me some goodness, and, even tho i have had the loveliness that is asthma for a long time (it first crushed my lungs the first time i watched ‘faces of death’ with my cousin when i was 13, trying to breathe while a dead guy’s face gets pulled back and people eat out of a monkey head. great), my doc gives me a little ditto about asthma. The ASTHMA ACTION PLAN!!!! i wont bore you with the facts so here are the pretty pictures and dumb things i say about them.

let me take your hand and lead you through the world of asthma, and the action plan that goes along with it. when you are ok you say ‘i feel great!’ and your kids make you move their boxes into their dorm room while they go around to the student center and drink. its 1 in the afternoon damnit! these boxes are heavy and your breath smells like jagermeister and clove cigarettes! oh god you aren’t hanging with 17 year old theater kids are you? oh no.

caution! you do not feel so great. it’s true because you feel like drowning. you feel like there is something in your lungs and it is preventing you from being able to take a full breathe. so your ocd is like you HAVE to take a full breathe but you cant so you hyperventilate and god damnit i can’t move all these boxes! caution! caution! you guys will have to move some of these. oh dad you’re so lazy!

Danger!!!! i feel really bad! i turned into an atari character and then burned to death in a fire. how ironic since i feel like I’m drowning. i wonder if the person who drew these clip art offerings had asthma themselves and then just gave up cause it was winding them out. i was feeling pretty bad myself and I’m not sure i looked like whatever is supposed to be going on it that picture. are they being hung? i guess it would feel like that if it was done improperly and your neck didn’t snap.

so in conclusion asthma is bad. im going to go back to drawing an avitar for someone and then read final crisis. and if geoff johns doesn’t write legion im going to look like panel 3. DANGER!

pardon the lack of updates while my lungs are filled with atrophy, cat hair, and lung margerine. perhaps if i can expel enough of this crap out of me i can make a painting with it or something. don’t worry it’ll look much better than that blood and semen metallica album cover. why? because yellow and green are much more appealling. this is what i get for sleeping with a cat on my face and not sweeping enough. i thought dust bunnies looked like tribbles so i was farming them.

xoxo jabby

whilst i learn to add colors in photoshop more gooder, please enjoy the first entry in the finish my first posthumous comic contest. This one is by Harvey Birdman…

so i was looking through a sketchbook and found a comic i had started drawing, but really have no idea what was going on and what i was thinking. surely after im dead this would be dug up by family members looking to make some money off of my heavy heap of burden, and well screw them, im going to posthumously show this now before im dead, since i have no idea where it was going anyway.

so if anyone else wants to finish the final panel that would be awesome. ill give them a drawing or something.

guernica!!!!!!

holding in your thoughts is pretty near impossible when you keep having them, even if they usually are the same thoughts day in day out, therefore i am letting them spring out into your face. I’m giving you a warning now. click away, click away. really. its hard to be the jailed and its hard to be the warden and its not as hard to be the guy that pushes around the books unless your name is brooks, then i hope you know how to carve your name in wood and its also pretty impressive that you were able to off yourself so nimbly and you didn’t know it but Jake flew into a window soon after you let him go because you never taught him anything except how to stay quiet in your pocket. so good you deserve to hang yourself, tho i guess the jail kept you in their pocket and never taught you how to bag groceries. why you never just got a job at the library we will never know.